An Epilogue
by kelzone
Summary: Hotaru revisits the Forest of Fireflies after losing Gin. This is a short attachment of where I think the anime should have ended.


**A/N: I'm not sure if this will give anybody any closure from the sad ending in the anime. But it gave me a little bit just writing it.**

 **Disclosure: I don't own Hotarubi No Mori E.**

An Epilogue

It was the kind of weather that reminded Hotaru how everything moves on. As she trailed along the familiar path, she noticed how the trees looked taller than they did last summer. The shrubs sprouted new leaves, green and thick. She thought of how all evidence of what was there the last time she came had faded away during the winter and replaced with something completely new. She frowned. She tend to avoid thinking about things like that. Changing, growing, and moving. How the world still spins despite who's there and who's not. Nature never care for the catastrophes of mankind. Nature doesn't wallow. They bury the past and keeping moving.

Hotaru found herself envying nature. How they brush away the footprints of anybody who had ever walked over their ground. Nature made forgetting look easy. A person could pluck off their leaves and hurt their stems. Yet, if you come back a year later, a new stem would have sprout and new leaves would have replaced the old, as if no harm was ever done there in the first place. And even if humanity were to leave a huge scar, like chopping down all the trees or bulldozing everything to build a new village or city. It will all eventually revert back. Something happens, cities becomes abandoned or destroyed, and nature does it again; they'll cover it all again until there's nothing recognizable left. Nature was good at forgetting. A skill, Hotaru realized, that humans were never quite good at.

The old stone steps looked the same as ever. She looked at the spot where she always found him sitting, waiting for her on the first day of every summer. She'd hear his voice before she'd see him. "Hotaru," he would say when he greeted her, like he was surprised that she actually came back to see him. The crisp but gentle whisper echoed in recesses of her memory and faded. A deep breath escaped her. The only sounds left were the light flapping and flittering of the white paper hung on the ropes behind the steps, a warning that this was the entrance into spirit territory.

Hotaru never cared much for the warning, because she always had him. He was always there to guide her home. She'd never be lost. But not anymore. As she stared beyond the dangling ropes guarding the entrance, she wondered if it would be so bad to be lost in the forest. If she thought hard about it, she'd say she'd been lost all her life. And oddly enough, the only time she felt that she wasn't, was when she was in that forest. _Ironic_ , she thought.

She didn't know how long she'd been standing there. Forever, it felt like. Each second of silence that passed was a firm confirmation that he was gone. Truly, truly gone.

She sucked in another breath of the damp, summer air. Her chest heavy, Hotaru finally made her way up the steps. Her hand brushed over the raggedly ropes and she thought of passing through into the forest just once more. The idea went as fast as it came. She chuckled at her own silliness and shook her head mildly trying to stop the tear that threaten to drip down the edge of her face. It's wouldn't be the same.

Closing her eyes, she sighed and turned to walk down the old stone steps for the last time. She had made it to the last step when a cold gush of wind washed over her. A tickling whisper blew against her ear running along the light strands of her hair. She didn't quite have time to make it out before she heard an airy flop of something drop behind her.

She was a little startled but knew better than to be hopeful. Slowly and hesitantly she turned, and as if confirming her suspicions, she found nobody there. Instead, something caught her eye a few steps above her. It hadn't been there before. She walked back up the steps once more, sat on the step next to the object. Hesitantly, she inched her hand towards it as if afraid that it might disappear at any moment.

She felt the soft threads of woven fabric, real and whole, and almost cried. And it was really there. She remembered the day she gave it to him. She'd been so afraid he'd die that snowy winter, she brought him a scarf and made him promise to keep it on during the cold season. It was the first gift she'd ever given. She kept turning her head, hoping that just maybe she'll find a glimpse of him hiding somewhere. But no. She knew, but she had hoped anyways. She chided herself when she realized. It was a mistake she made too often.

She didn't know how the scarf got here, but she thought perhaps the spirits were giving her something precious back.

She ran her finger along the layers, reveling in the thought that he had worn it when she was far from him. But her thought was interrupted when she heard a crunching sound as her hand found something crisp and smooth, like a folded paper.

Then, she was staring at it.

An envelope with something written on the front:

 _If you ever find yourself returning._

Could it be… Hotaru quickly unsealed the envelope and read through the contents of the message within.

 _Hotaru,_

There it was again. The echo of his airy voice.

 _I wonder if you'd ever come back after I'm gone. And if you do, I wonder if it's cause your heart is broken. Or maybe, you've forgotten about me already and you would never receive this. But in case you do come back, I want you to know that I never wanted to leave you._

 _If you're heart is broken, then it is my fault. I think I've been selfish. You gave me something precious and all I did was disappear._

 _Do you remember the day you tried to scare me but you fell from the tree. I almost tried to catch you. You were so relieved that I didn't, you started crying. You cried because you were afraid that I'd be lost if I'd touched you. And I thought: But I am lost._

 _I was lost the day I was abandoned in the forest. I was still lost even when the mountain god granted me life. And I continued to be lost during the years I grew. And I thought it was a bit funny. Because as I watched you cry over the possibility of losing me, I realized I didn't feel lost anymore. With you, I was never lost. I was found. And I looked forward to every summer when you would find me again. I hoped for it._

 _Since then, there had been only one thing I've ever wanted, Hotaru. One thing I've dreamt of: to know the feeling of human touch. What would it have felt like to hold your hand and feel it's warmth. I always imagined it to be the best and simplest kind of feeling._

 _That last night, the moment I realized my body was fading, I knew it was my last chance to find out. You ran to me. And when I felt you in my arms at the last second, my heart was breaking. But I was so, so happy._

 _So don't cry for me. Don't cry because I disappeared. Because you have given me the best gift. And if there was one thing I could do for you if I can't be there with you, it's this. I can say goodbye._

 _So goodbye, Hotaru. And thank you._

 _-Gin_


End file.
